Where to begin? I have so many things that I wish I could put into words for you. God has been so gracious to me and I am finally getting it through to my doubting spirit that He is in control. Not me. He will provide for me. Everytime. It may not look like I want it to look. Or be as soon as I would like, but He will provide. I get so frustrated with Him and then He reminds me in His kind, but stern way, that my ways are not His ways and my thoughts are not His thoughts. And I praise Him for that. If it were up to me, I would have moved somewhere last August and missed out on the hard season He had in store for me where I would learn to trust Him all over again. I have to admit that I wish I could guarantee that tomorrow night when I go to bed that I would be feeling an overwhelming trust in His plan, but odds are, something will happen and I will let my doubting spirit take precedence again. I am learning that is a day to day life as a missionary. Day to day I have to choose to trust Him and His ways and thoughts.

Yesterday, I got to go back to the village I went to last Saturday to help out with the same ministry. I was just as impressed the second time around! I am always amazed to see how intentional the missionaries are at this ministry. They carry antibiotics in their purse and bring mattresses in the bed of their truck. They have a genuine love for the people they serve and it is contagious!

Today, I got to spend time at Ekisa (www.ekisa.org...check it out!). Ekisa is a home for children with special needs that was started by two young women who saw a need and stepped up to the challenge. I got to spend time with a little girl named Tasha. Tasha is a 3 ½ years old who has a severe form of cerebral palsy. She can’t talk or walk and the director told me that they have never seen her smile. But then, the director turned to Tasha and said “But we know she is going to smile one day! That’s a promise isn’t it Tasha!” It was so encouraging to again see a young missionary who is so in love with the people she serves. As I sat on the couch and held Tasha, we listened to two Ekisa volunteers play the keyboard and sing praise and worship songs. Tasha immediately became engaged with her atmosphere. Her little eyes scanned the room to see who was singing. As I sang praises to the God who created both of us, I had to hold back tears. I thought about how much our Creator adores Tasha. He was not surprised to find out that Tasha had CP. He was not surprised when her parents abandoned her, although I believe with my whole heart that it devastated Him to see His beloved daughter rejected by the ones who were supposed to love her most. Tasha was created with a purpose. Just like all of His creation, we all have a purpose.

So tonight as I go to bed with an overwhelming trust in my Savior who loves me enough to put up with my whining, I am thinking of these verses. I am reminded once again, that all things do work out.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. Romans 8:26-28 (The Message)